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First Puff

It was the day me and my brother decided
its time to grow big, its time to prove to the world
That we are ready to move on
That we are ready to take our first puff

We got hold of a couple of cigarettes
from a new packet
Went to a secluded place
where no one will ever know

We watched Rajni do it
and so was every other star
So why not we also join the
elite group of individuals

We lighted a match
and watched in anxiety
as the cigarette lighted up
and taking the big step

A deep puff from the unlightened end
A feeling of joy and excitement
A feeling of burning and then dying
Coughing and coughing badly

My brother was worried looking at me
And we ran home.....where our mother was waiting
at the doorstep to check on us.....
I was totally white faced and didn't know what to say

I fumbled out something
That I saw a ghost and got scared
And she believed me
Maybe because I was just seven years old

-rAVI

First love letter

HIM:

10.....9........8........7..........6...........5.............4................3.....................2......................1...........................HAPPY NEW YEAR

Its another year to live,

another year to age

another year of disappointments

another year of happiness

............................basically another year of life

We planned to go to a temple .............

to invite god to accompany us ......

through joy and sadness.....

in this year of madness.......

The premises was pleasant...

aloof of everyday pressures....

with a lot of beautiful girls....

and their laughter made of pearls....

There was a lone candle ........

strugling to spread light.....

holding against the wind...

flickering all the while...

I ran to hold it....

and two hands accompanied me....

in keeping the light alive...

and each other to see.....

I smiled....she smiled.....

"Do you hear any Temple bells ringing in the background"

'No'

"Oho.....Looks like I am watching a lot of movies now a days"

'looks like it'......She smiled and walked away

We spent the next two hours in the temple

I don't know whether I was watching her or she was watching me

But we were looking at each other

Finally I mustered my courage
and followed her while she was leaving

"Excuse me.....I need to give you this" ......I was holding a letter

'What is it'

"Letter"

'You start giving a love letter within two hours of meeting a girl?'

"Do you watch movies a lot??"

'Why'

"Open the letter"

'One kilo sugar.......litre milk.....turmeric........what is this'

"The priest wanted to give you a list of items for a pooja you were asking him about......If it looks like a love letter to you then fine ........"

She was feeling embarassed

and flashing her beautiful smile

Though I wanted to stay........

I do not want to be belittled

and so I said Thanks and

left the premises................

I could see

she was dissappointed............

But I was not going to stay back......

Not untill she realizes.....

HER:

The days ran away but not his thoughts

He was a stranger whom I want to talk

I should'nt have scolded him on that day

When he walked and came my way

I used to read the pooja list daily

And laugh within myself silly

But it used to remind me

How I am alone and lonely

Finally Pooja day came

I reached the temple early

No other devotees were there

Nor was the priest

But He was there

kneeling down in front of God

Asking for forgiveness

with hands in unison like deep prayer

Now I understood

why the date was written in bold

I opened the list one more time

to read my First Love Letter.........

Broken Heart

Monday:
Him:I have everything and I have nothing. I have a lot of friends but no family. I have someone to look over but not one who cares.
This is me.......lonely,desperate,lost......for what,I do not know.

Then an idea stuck me. I immediately called the local daily and registered my Ad to be published in the evening edition


Monday:
Her:It all started with an Ad in the evening edition daily. It read 'Looking for a friend who talkes and listens to me. Post Box no:143, Brindavan colony".
It looked very peculiar and the postbox given was within our locality.I replied to his ad wondering whether there are really anyone interesting in my locality.
I took a new post b/o address and replied back.

"I am here but you are not talking. When I talk, you are not listening"
I gave the post b/o as my address. You surely don't want a psycho coming over to your home referencing the letter.


Tuesday morning:
Him:Today I got lot of replies but one out of them stood out from the rest. It was addressed from a different post box nbr in the same office.
Looks really interesting. I wrote a reply:
"I was listening all the time you were'nt aware of it. My heart was calling all the time. You were'nt caring"


Wednesday-Thrusday.....Weeks...:
The voice in the background:
The mails started flowing and the friendship blossommed to Love. Neither of us proposed but we knew that this has to be the one.
Nobody else understood them so well like this. They wrote about a variety of topics ranging from the colors of butterflies to the secret affairs of their friends

One day they decide to meet. The place was necklace road.

Sunday evening:
Him: I should not have been soo anxious. Damn it. Now I am one hour early. What am I going to do till she comes. I may as well have something by the time she comes.

"Oye. How much is the icecream."
Dinshaws boy: Rs20.
Him: Give me a couple of chocolate flavoured one's.

Her: I am thirty minutes early. I don't even know how he looks. Let me have a icecream
"Oye. How much is the icecream."
Dinshaws boy: Its Rs20.( A bit surprised ). Want two chocolate flavoured ones.
Her: Do I look like I want chocolate. Give me a couple of strawberry flavoured one's.

The Dinshaw's boy was staring strangely at her and she noticed it. She moved a couple of yards away but could still see the Dinshaw's guy staring at her.
Her: Don't know what kind of guys are out there. Someone should kill all these scumbags. Now where the hell is this guy.

After 2 hours:
Him: I should have been a fool to believe in some invisible fairy and come over here and wait like this. Never ever believe on girls. They think this is fun fooling people like this....I may as well leave.
Him: Oye icecream. Give a a couple more
Dinshaws boy: Here sir (handling over a couple of strawberry flavoured one's)
Him: Did I ask for strawberry flavor. Give me a couple of chocolate flavoured ones.

After 1 more hour:
Her: Guys are Jacka*ss. Breaking hearts is fun for them....I don't know how I believed in him. I will have some icecream and leave
Her: Oye icecream boy. two more icecream
Dinshaws boy: strawberry or chocolate
Her: Just give me strawberry flavor ones...


Monday:
The voice in the background:
Both were crying the whole day and did not come out of their home's.


Tuesday:
Him: "If you want to make a fool out of me. Well you succeded. Don't write to me anymore and never come in front of me"
Her: "I believed you more than anybody in the world and you cheated me. I never want to meet you. Not today not tomorrow not ever"

But both of them knew that true love can never be forgotten. They received the letters written to each other. Though they were happy, there still is a doubt lingering in their mind whether this is real or another plan to fool. But both of them somehow got convinced that they somehow
might have missed each other or even cross each other without recognising. They decided to meet in Birla Mandir early saturday.

Saturday:
Him: I am gonna propose to her today. Enough of all the bush beating. We will be together today
Her: I hope we meet today. I cannot be wrong in selecting my love. Even though I did not meet him, I know I love him and he loves me too. If he does'nt propose me then I would go and propose to him. After all someone has to take the initiative.....

Saturday Evening:
Him: I am again 1 hour early. Maybe this is not a good sign. I should have waited at home or atleast in the bus stop before coming.
Her: I am very early today too....But whatever happens I am not going to budge from here

Sunday Morning news:
"Dead body found in Tank bund..........A person was found dead in the tank bund and is presumed to be a suicide because of failure in love......A local ice cream wala recognising this person as having spent last saturday on necklace road and this sunday in Birla mandir. He rememberes the person because of the peculiar way of dressing worn by the person ......Police are trying to trace the concerned people using the suicide note......"

Sunday Evening news:
A Doctor was talking to the press: "The person found in Tank Bund today morning was suffering from Multiple personality disorder for quite some time.....He changes into a totally different person in 30 minutes.....And no........he is not Ghajini (smiling)......He remembers whatever the current personality has done before but has no memory of what the alter ego has done.......Unfortunately, one of his personalities who is an author fell in love with his alter ego, a lady working in a call center.......Though it looks highly unusual, the person committed suicide thinking he has been cheated by his lover ....which unfortunately is himself....."


PS: Don't curse me after reading this........I myself don't know why I wrote this way......Let me say its just Ghajini effect on me......:)

I love my parents

"I love my parents"....

Every child believe's these words

and every man says these words............

But sometimes it takes an incident

for you to realize the meaning of it..........

I was'nt lucky enough

to interact much with my grand parents......

The only memory is seeing my mom's mother

in the last stages of her life........

She used to come for summer every year

with me being her only company .........

She does'nt talk much

but wanted me to watch her the whole time

It might be because of her fear,

but used to look silly to me.

Since I was not given a choice

I had to don a watchman's role

It was the summer of exams

Inter Eamcet IIT..and what not....

The load took the toll on me
and I got worried about the exams....

I was getting more angry

whenever my grandmom calls me.....

and finally I had to to give an ultimatum

send her back to her hometown for this summer....

My mom profusely refused

Later she was thoroughly confused

But my fears got projected

and my word got elected

The arguments led to a cold war

between my mom and me..........

We stopped talking for a month

Neither of us breaking a word

Two weeks before the exams

I broke the ice

We patched up by putting make-up on each other

and played dice

The phone rang at midnight

my grandmom has passed away..........

I was watching my mother

the only time she cried this way.........

She was a lone child

crying her mother's loss

I was the lame crusader

with silent anguish and pain

The make-up washed away

slowly with her tears

I was stuck dumbstruck

with my greatest fears

Its been 7 years since this incident happened.......

The mother was able to forgive her son

But the child was not able to forgive himself
for leaving a child without her mother............

"I love my parents"....

Every child believe's these words

and every man says these words............

But sometimes it takes an incident

for you to realize the meaning of it..........

Lost Friend

I met her roaming near my house

I watched her for a couple of hours

She seems to have lost her turn

But I was there to be her friend

I followed her and offered a drink

that made her smile and made a wink

I used to talk and she used to watch

speaking with her mesmerising eyes

She loved catching a butterfly

I tried to teach her but she never learnt

She loved to swing but was afraid of heights

I used to show her as far as she sights

She used to be on time

And I was always late

She used to accompany me to my home

But I never knew where she stays

she was there when I was happy

she was there when I was low

she was there when I need her

she was there to be my best friend

One day she stopped coming

I was worried about her well being

she was frail and was snappy

I was the one to make her happy

I found that she left me

without a word without a smile

My friendship broken

like a hurricane without a sound

I went to her new playground

where she rested with her new friend

I know I will miss her a lot

even though she is only a dog

PS: Now you people know how bad I write too... :)

- rAVI

Gift to Mom

It was the day everybody was waiting for.....the day....
all those rumours...all the excitement.....everybody in queue waiting near the ATM......
Asking everyone coming out...
'How much did you get' 'How much did you get'...


Finally my turn came........
I made the balance query and found out 'It was my first salary'


I called home that night to call Mom to tell that I too am a salaried man....
She asked me how do you want to spend. I said I dont know,
She wanted to give the entire money as donation to God.......
How can I tell I have more important plans of buying a gift for her


I reached home after completing training with empty hands.......
She did not say anything, I was there that's all she cares...
I asked my friends but none came in time to buy a saree for my mom
I told my dad my little secret and convinced him to help me buy my precious gift


We went to a shop and brought a lovely saree
I made my first payment and I was happy........

We reached home and I ran inside to surprise her.......
She was surprised.....
But there is neither the glow nor the smile in her face
which I see everytime I face her


I asked her what is the reason.
She replied she did not like the colour......
The colour was very whitish cream like my face right now.....
I was hurt and she knew it too......


I did not buy any gift to her for the next two years...
she did not care....I was with her...that's all she cares....
I was sent to onsite for 2 months.....she was worried.....
how her baby survives without any care......


I did survive but by only working day and night......
calling to home being my only relief.....
This time I returned home again with empty hands.....
She did not care, I was there that's all she cares...


In the night before sleeping I went to her and said I got a little gift....
I was opening a box having a silver necklace..........
She said she liked it ..............
even without opening.......


The glow was there and the smile too
I know I love my mom too.........

_ rAVI

PS: It was my first attempt to write. Sorry for the grammeritical mistakes......but I left it to be as it is as the first time I wrote it....